Get married I

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2013.11.12是我人生的大日子，我們家是一群完全不懂婚禮的禮俗的門外漢，準備了十個月，這天真的是對我一次期末考。

感謝我的好朋友 負責炒熱氣氛的伴郎棠皓、跟情義相挺幫我湊車的司機千翔。如果沒有你們，我的婚禮過程一定沒有辦法這麼順利。

11/12的吉時是上午就要到我未來老婆家文定，大家不到七點鐘就起床準備，我因為床被安了，只能睡沙發@@。我的好朋友一來，我就立刻拉他們到樓下，幫我綁車花。一群男生笨手笨腳，把好好一台車貼滿膠帶，綁一堆軟鐵絲，終於幫車子綁好肉粽。

到了我老婆家前，高大的伴郎竟然害怕放鞭炮，帶著耳機始終點不到著炮。

到了門口搖下車窗，手中捏著等下要給幫我開車門的人的紅包，結果...怎麼沒有人幫我開車、讓我摸橘子...?? 原來是下午迎娶才要，我只能跟小舅子說抱歉拉，紅包我先收走了。

上樓文定儀式，脫線的伴郎棠皓還把我事先安排好的奉茶紅包拿錯，放成自己的伴郎紅包...我給伴郎紅包可是多很多耶XD...
交換完信物後，我們就一起去餐廳吃午宴，下車後，餐廳人員說"你們早上是結婚嗎?" 我說:"沒有啊，是文定!!" 餐廳人員就說: "文定為什麼要綁車頭彩，不是都結婚才綁嗎?"...XD，我又搞笑了，害我早上還因為弄車頭花遲到去我老婆家...

下午回到我家後，趕去買我忘記準備的捧花，還被花店多算錯300元...

下午四點，準備出發去我老婆家，雖然我個性低調，不想讓鄰居知道，但早上綁錯車頭彩的行徑已經讓很多人知道我今天要結婚。我就決定，我下午的迎娶要放三串鞭炮，分別是出門、到老婆家門前、以及回到我家門前，執行者---害怕鞭炮的有線頻道素人嘉賓棠皓。

好!! 我們要出發了，一夥人跟著攝影師講著講著垃圾話上車了，一上高架道路，就問棠皓:"你有沒有在我家門口記得放鞭炮?" 棠皓:"案，忘了XD..."，棠皓 醜一。

到了中和，想到~~''XD，棠皓!! 你等下不是要執行第二次放鞭炮行動嗎? 怎麼會坐在我旁邊?這是第二台車耶" 棠皓: "怎麼辦啦? 搓賽" 我:"好吧，我去叫在第一台車的攝影師助手放!!" 攝影師:"喂~~沒關係! 我來放就好了，我放完順便走過去拍你們就好了。" 我想說攝影師還蠻照顧助手的就拜託你了...，我就撥給我妹夫:"我快到你們家了，等下我會先放鞭炮通知你們!!!"

結果XD...到了我老婆家路口一個綠燈左轉，我頭車駕駛舅舅，突然加足馬力及衝到我老婆家門口面前停下來，女方親友立刻嚇到趕快點燃鞭炮，攝影師在煙霧中下車，跟我說:"我剛剛真的想要下來去放炮的，只是你舅舅腦充血，突然加速，我就像被關在監獄的犯人下不了車~~"。好吧@@我挺得住!! 可能舅舅尿急了。我就說"沒關係!!! 就跟大家說我們有放炮，外面太吵了你們沒聽到就好。"我果然是當過leader的，下屬犯錯，當然要幫下屬解決問題，讓大家安心。

一下車，摸了橘子，丟出早上就該送出的紅包。就要闖關遊戲。

第一關夾MM巧克力，以往我的夾筷子指力，一直都被我老婆嘲笑，想給我出難題，還讓我練習一分多鐘，結果我竟然在限定時間內成功夾了10顆MM，丟下一句名言:"讓我練習，實在是你們的失策!! 哈哈"。


第二關幫小孩換尿布，這小男孩在我闖關過程中竟然都不會哭，讓我頓時覺得天助我。在一分鐘內換完交差後，被關主指正，尿布穿反了XD。奇怪了~~小孩穿反了也沒哭沒意見，大人是懂甚麼?搞不好這才是最舒服的穿法。
超過時間的我，逞罰就是喝苦茶，我很men的喝了70%，我的伴郎跟司機兩位隨從竟然喊渴，想喝茶，我只好給他們服務的機會了，(其實下關的福利比較優，福利還是不要太早給比較好...)

 

第三關就是親新娘啦，結果我親了所有的魔王才親到新娘，鞭炮可以少放，親嘴怎麼可以少親呢?

 最後，就是迎娶老婆回家，都是我害的。搞到岳父岳母都哭不出來，一路上傻女婿從早上綁車頭彩來文定，少放鞭炮雖然沒被發現，但到了老婆家把每個魔王都親了一遍，嘴巴紅紅的跟長輩說要取老婆，也難怪在場沒人哭得出來。

 最後，我的老婆終於被我迎娶到家了。(ps:回到我家時，戴著耳機的醜一伴郎，這次總算記得要放鞭炮了...下午放炮完成率33%) ---待續


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